Being Sheep

"I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me— just as the Father knows me and I know the Father—and I lay down my life for the sheep."John 10:14-15

Tuesday, July 12, 2011


If we have a very busy Saturday and don't have time to give N his bath Sat night, N's daddy will usually just take him into the shower on Sunday morning before church. He'll quickly shower N and then himself while I do N's hair and get him dressed and such.

N LOVES showers. Loves them. I mean, don't mention a shower unless you plan to give him one, or you'll definitely hear about it!

This past Sunday one of our boys was sick, so I was planning to take the other two with me to church. Since I was the one going to church, I figured I'd just quickly shower N with me. No biggie, right? The kid loves showers!

So we went in the bathroom and got N ready. I stepped into the shower and said, "Come on, N! Get in the shower!" I was expecting his excited "Shower!!!!" but instead got, "Nooo!!! Daddy!!"

The kid who loves showers screamed through the whole shower. Why? Because I wasn't daddy.

And so it goes. Sometimes his screaming fits are very predictable, other times we have no idea it's coming. Sometimes we have great days with only a few minor tantrums. Other days we have all-day scream fests.

Honestly, it's very tiring. Last week when I wrote the previous post about him screaming all day long, he was taking a nap. As soon as he woke up the screaming started again. And he got more physical than he usually is; I ended up getting a nice bump under the eye from his sippy cup.

We can have a wonderful time singing and tickling and giggling together, and then afterward he will try to hit me in the face or have a fit about something.

Why does he do it? Because healthy attachment is still a scary thing for him. Slowly but surely we are making progress though.

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Dear Little N

My Dear Little N,

I love you so.

But this morning, you screamed about everything. You screamed because Mommy sat down. You screamed because Mommy walked away from you. You screamed because you wanted a cereal bar, and then screamed because Mommy gave you one. You screamed that you wanted crackers, but then screamed when you were given a cracker. You were thirsty, but didn't want a drink.

You wanted to play with your brothers, but they weren't doing things the way you wanted them done. You screamed because you wanted to watch a show, and then screamed for ten minutes because you had again decided you wanted something to eat.

You screamed because you wanted the blanket your brother was using, and then when you got a blanket you screamed because it just wasn't on you the right way, and nothing anyone did could make it right.

You screamed because your toy wasn't working right, and then screamed because Mommy tried to help you.

Mommy made you lunch and put you in your high chair, and you screamed. You finally ate some lunch, but threw your plate on the floor when you were done.

And screamed to get out of your high chair.

It was finally nap time, and boy you fought! Mommy picked you up to rock you and give you your bottle, and you screamed. You covered your mouth. You fought. You tried to take the bottle out of Mommy's hands.

But the bottle went in your mouth. You started sucking and settled in. You looked into Mommy's eyes, you smiled a bit.

You and Mommy rocked and rocked, and then the songs spilled out--a bit reluctantly at first; Mommy was tired, Mommy was worn out, but the songs came anyway,

Jesus loves me, this I know
For the Bible tells me so
Little ones to him belong
They are weak but he is strong

Yes, Jesus loves me
Yes, Jesus loves me
Yes, Jesus loves me
The Bible tells me so


May the Lord bless you and keep you
May the Lord make his face shine upon you
And give you peace, and give you peace
And give you peace forever

May the Lord be gracious to you
May the Lord turn his face towards you
And give you peace, and give you peace
And give you peace forever

Then you finished your bottle, smiled and said,

"All done baba. Nigh-night." You went to bed, and quickly fell fast sleep.

We'll get through this, my baby boy. We will.