It was a day full of little miracles. In addition to the events I describe below, we had some answers to prayer regarding finances, Nathan actually played with other children at a McDonald's play place, and friends of ours noticed just how much happier he seems. All those were amazing things! But combined with what happened right before Nathan's bedtime, it was an amazing day.
This morning Nathan and I were looking at pictures together of our trip to Ethiopia. He was very interested in seeing pictures of him as a baby. "Look, there I'm sleeping!" etc. It was so sweet.
All of a sudden though, he started sobbing. Not screaming--but deep, gut-wrenching sobs.
"Why weren't you there? Where were you? I needed you and I was crying! But you were gone."
Then he said over and over, "I want to be a baby! I want to be a baby!"
It was heartbreaking. I tried to comfort him, but still he sobbed on.
"I wanted to be there with you, baby. I wish I could have been there."
Tonight we were on our way home from a school concert and he asked me to carry him. He again said he wanted to be a baby. When I suggested that I carry him in the baby carrier I used when he was smaller, he readily agreed--with a big smile on his face!
So I picked him up, and here's what happened:
Amazing, right? Two years ago he barely tolerated being held by me. He was still raging for many hours each day. Today, he seems to genuinely like me. He's so much happier--genuinely happy, not manic-happy. Healing. It's happening. There may still be a long way to go, but we're getting there.